Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year from Kristiana, Michael and Chiara





Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Letter to my daughter

Well, little girl.  The world has just changed, and you were here by my side to see it.

You and I are watching the emotional reaction of Obama supporters across the nation to the news that we've just elected an intelligent, erudite, Democratic president -- who also happens to be black.  It's really quite stunning, and I'm sorry your daddy isn't here with us to hear the news.

The visual contrast between the McCain invitation-only event and the massive Obama rally in Chicago (and others across the country) is a powerful commentary on this election.  It seems that people weren't just ready for change - they were finally ready to elect a President who was *not* a middle-aged white man, and more importantly one who apparently values diplomacy, communication, and thoughtful consideration of issues on the world stage.  Your parents both hope that his election will go a long way to improve relations between the US and the rest of the world. 

The status quo has changed tonight.  What can we imagine for twenty years from now, when you can cast your first vote in a presidential election?  It's a tall order to fill, given that the first election of your lifetime is one this historic.

Congratulations, little girl.  You have a new President.  

What will you be?

Love, 

Mama


Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone


Monday, October 27, 2008

Chiara pix - four and a half months old

Notification of some super-cute photos of the Small Person taken last night.


Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

And Now for the Other News

So I promised you the BIG news in a separate email. 

Although the final dates are not set, the big news is ... we're moving to London.


So... here's the Move to London FAQ!

Q:  WHY?
A:  I've been offered a position with Apple UK, transferring to the Retail EMEA team.  I will be managing new Apple Store telephone system installations as we expand throughout Europe, and I'll be improving the workings of and maintaining telephone systems for existing stores in the UK, Ireland, Switzerland, and Italy. 


Q:  London!  Wow!  Really, London?
A:  Um, well, not exactly.  We are moving to "London" in the same sense that we might tell a Londoner that we live in "San Francisco."  We will be living in the London-ish part of England, roughly, but almost certainly not at all within London's (very expensive) city limits.  Apple's facility is located just north of Heathrow Airport, which is a good few miles west of the city.  We most likely will live somewhere even further west from there:  commute distance to Apple, evening-or-weekend-visit distance to London, but less urban and hopefully thriftier.  We'd really like to be able to afford a guestroom for all of you!


Q:  So if it's an Apple transfer, does that mean that Apple moves you?
A:  Yes -- our flights, our belongings, a rental car and first month's lodging is all covered under the relocation agreement.   


Q:  So are you guys excited?
A:  Excited?  Yes.  Terrified?  Yes.  Feeling overwhelmed?  Also Yes...

Really -- it's an incredible opportunity, and while we are terrified at the thought of uprooting ourselves from our comfortable life over the next two months, we're also very excited.   We expect that the next couple of months will pass in a haze of packing when we are not already in a haze of baby-related exhaustion.


Q:  So when do you go?
A:  At this time, we expect the move will take place in January.


Q:  Are you going over there ahead of time to check things out?
A:  My visa application is currently in the works, so it will be Michael who makes a trip to scout the area for us between the 5th and 12th of November (he leaves Election Day, which is just as well as he'd be obsessing and not sleeping anyway).  His goal is to identify areas where we'd be interested in living after our month of corporate housing expires, narrowing down our options so that we are not searching quite so blindly!


Q:  Will Michael be able to work in the UK?
A:  We are hoping that my visa comes through with a rider that allows Michael to work as well.  We have to wait for my initial visa application to be approved before that happens.  We're also investigating getting Michael the right to work independent of my visa.  


Q:  Will you be selling your house?
A:  We haven't decided yet.  The tax laws give us three years to make up our mind, and while we probably won't wait that long to decide, it's nice to know that we don't have to move AND sell the house instantly.


Q:  Can I do anything to help?
A:  You very well might be able to, should you be willing.

First, our weekends are still largely baby-intensive.  If someone wanted to put in some time with our lovely daughter, Michael and I could spend time going through boxes in the garage and storage, organizing things in advance of the move.

Second, we have a LOT of spare furniture.  If you need, for instance, a dining room set as a long-term loan, at low cost, or as an outright gift, come see us, as I think we have a set or four.  We also have more bookcases than we know what to do with, and since we will probably NOT be moving some those to the UK, many will be up for grabs.  One Bonde unit is still in the garage in the original IKEA box, unassembled.

We may also end up with some items with plugs that just won't work with UK current.  Ask us.

Third, if you are an organizational-type and want to put in some time helping us deplete a storage locker, we would really appreciate it.  At this point, we're willing to pay in wine, which we probably can't move overseas with us.  *sniff*


Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Chiara Chronicles: Four Month FAQ

Monday was Chiara's four-month birthday!  She's a beautiful, happy baby, and her parents are crazy... about her!

Since we haven't published a FAQ since July and Chiara was a month old, it's probably time to catch everyone up.

Q:  So how big is she now?
A:  At her 8-week wellbaby visit, she was 23 1/2".  At her four-month appointment last Wednesday, she was 25 3/4." Growing like a weed, our girl!

Due to her height, she was exclusively in 3-month onesies from her two-month birthday to her three-month, and is primarily in 6-month clothes now!   Of course, since she's already outgrowing some of those, we'll be on to 9-month clothes in no time.

Weight-wise, she isn't growing nearly so fast.  She's dropped from the 50th percentile down to 35th -- she was 12 pounds, 12 ounces on Wednesday.  She's swimming in a lot of her clothes, whether 3-month or 6-month.  Fortunately, her pediatrician is not concerned, and we'll just keep feeding her as much as she'll eat.


Q:  Has she hit any milestones? 
A:  Lots, actually.  Noted chronologically, here are some of the happenings in her life:

*  Chiara got her first set of inoculations on her 8-week birthday.  Four shots and an oral rotavirus dose is a lot for such a small person (for any size person, for that matter), and she made her displeasure known.  And we'll be doing it again at 4 months, which doesn't fill any of us with glee.

*  The Apple Store Del Monte in Monterey opened on August 9th, and Apple's smallest fan (dressed in an Apple onesie) pretty much slept through the entire thing.  This is notable because it's so hard to do -- Apple Store openings are LOUD.  She also came to lunch with the Apple team, in a restaurant overlooking Monterey Bay (which, incidentally, was her first look at the Pacific Ocean).  She dozed through much of that, too.  

*  Just hours before she was officially 2 months old, Chiara held her bottle by herself.  Her stunned parents are backed up in this claim by the dinner guests, Katie and Brien, who witnessed and are prepared to submit sworn statements.  We also have photographic evidence of that time, and since.

*  As of her 2-month birthday, there were only a couple of newborn/0-3month clothing items she could still wear.  None of them were onesies -- she was just too tall.  

*  On August 20th, Chiara made her first cross-country trip, to her grandparents' new home north of Atlanta.  My grandfather died in early April, and his memorial service was Friday 8/23.  Our little family managed to survive the trip and came out of it with some good insight for future travel, though we're not very anxious to do a lot of it.  It was nice to introduce Chiara to her Grampa Skip, Aunt Kelly, Great-Aunts Joan and Lauri, and a host of other family members, however, and our little one was a sweet star despite the somewhat sad occasion.  We were also the first houseguests for Mom and Skip in their newly-built home on the family lot -- their home is gorgeous.

* While in Georgia, Chiara seems to have realized that she has toes, because she was grabbing at them during dinner.

* Chiara slept through the night for the first time the night we returned from Georgia.  The second time was a week later, and until she outgrew her swaddle, she was sleeping through the night pretty consistently.  When it worked, she slept from about 9-10pm, all the way until 7:30-9am.  

* We made our first "sick baby" visit the Wednesday after the trip.  Facing steady escalation of the "crying in misery after every feeding" situation, we brought her in to be seen.  It seems that the reason that 75% of the instances of "colic" have diminished recently has to do, in part, with the fact that babies are beginning to be prescribed medication to counteract acid reflux.  Chiara has been on this for about two months now, and though she will probably hate peppermint for life, she is a different baby.  Hurray for Zantac!

* I returned to work the day after Labor Day, and sometime that week she slept so late that I actually didn't get to see her until I got home that evening.  I don't know if that's really a milestone for her, but it is for me, and I've decided that not getting to see my daughter before I go to work is not something I want to experience regularly.  :(

* Chiara has a nanny!  Malia (the nanny) started work the second week of September.  Malia is a grad student in her early twenties, and she's helping Michael maintain his sanity by giving him about 4 hours a day where he's not solely responsible for his daughter.  She's been put in charge of ensuring that Chiara gets her daily Tummy Time, in addition to general baby care.  

*  As of her 3-month birthday, there are many 3-month onesies she can no longer wear.  I went to Carter's that Saturday to buy her some six-month clothes, which, for the moment, fit.  Incidentally, Mom, I hate to tell you that we may have missed the window for her "First Norwegian Shirt" onesie, sized at 12months.  She's wearing it... but only as  a shirt.

*  By month 3, she had both hands in her mouth.  At month four, she is regularly playing with her toes, although she does not have them in her mouth yet.

*  Nearing month 4, she is regularly reaching for and grasping objects, whether it is the bear tethered to the canopy of her swing, or the ball-thing that she can't quite get in her mouth. The bear is especially comical as it's attached to a springy cord -- she *almost* gets it to her mouth before it flies back out of her hands.

*  The week before her 4-month well baby appointment, she rolled over - front to back and back to front.  She regularly rolls to her right side these days, preferring her side to her back or front when she's on her own.


Q:  What does a Day in the Life of Chiara look like?
A:  Generally, she's up for the day between 7:30 and 9am (although she's been known to sleep much later).  She gets fed, changed, dosed, and dressed, not necessarily in that order.  Throughout the day, she generally hangs out with someone (Michael, Melia, or me if I'm home).  

She likes being held.  She'll enjoy the Bjorn bouncer for sometimes 30 minutes at a stretch, but that's about it for that.  The swings are a good place for her to be if she's about ready for a nap (or already on her way out), but if she's awake there's about a half-hour limit on those, as well.  Part of Malia's planned routine is to give Chiara tummy time, which appears to be working as she's much less unhappy about it these days. 

Food and nap time are still unscripted -- whenever she wants to be fed or to sleep.  Although we are watching more diligently for signs of tiredness these days, to encourage her to nap.  We think that there will be a standard nap around 11am, and others when she starts looking sleepy.

At the end of the day, depending on whether mom is home, Chiara may hang out with one or both parents (as we eat dinner, hang out together or in Second Life, or watch TV).  If mom is still at work, the ChiaraCam may become active (more about this later).  

As bedtime nears, our routine has gone something like this:  She gets a "night diaper" (double-density cloth) and is swaddled, then fed until she stops, while I sing to her whatever I can think of during that time.  Recent songs include "Who can ask for anything more?" "Baby's Boat," "Skylark," "The Nearness of You," "Baby Mine," "Desafinado," and "The Wave."  We also have our own versions of "Brahms' Lullabye" (inspired by Ernie singing to Bert on Sesame Street when I was little), "Are you sleeping?" "(If They Asked Me) I Could Write a Book," and, actually, "Ragtime Gal." 

Lately, though, given her inability to go for more than a couple of hours without eating, we've been skipping the swaddle.   Now that her feedings have once more evened out to three times a night (bedtime, then roughly midnight, 3, and 7), we may try that again.

We've also gone back and forth a bit about her bedtime (books say early; we find that she goes down easily at about 9pm), but for the moment have decided to follow our own instincts and just try moving bedtime up by a half-hour or so.


Here's a passage from a Michael missive on 9/16, when he was updating Aunt Mari on All Things Chiara:

"Her talking/babbling, when she's in the mood for it, has become more copious, voluble, and assertive.  When I start reading to her, she'll frequently begin talking back to me almost immediately, and in no uncertain tones.  She makes a face while she's doing it that suggests she is mockingly imitating someone being excessively stuffy and dull.  I do my best to interpret this as an artifact of intense concentration and not personal criticism.

"Another part of our daily routine is the Chiara-cam:  with Chiara on my lap I pull up Kristiana's spare laptop, which has a webcam, and open a videoconference to her at work so she can wave hello to her daughter.  She has two screens at work, so often she'll just leave the Chiara-cam open for a while while she's working, sneaking peeks at her little girl now and then.  This is not just us being nerds; it really is a very nice way to have a little togetherness time when she's working an extra-long day as she has been recently."  



Q:  So what's your biggest challenge with Chiara-care these days?
A;  Her needing to be fed overnight (has been as many as six or seven times, although that seems to be tapering off)!  It's hard, but we're managing, and we hope to be past this particular hurdle, and back to sleeping through the night soon.


Q:  How are you doing on those Thank You letters?
A:  OK, so no one has asked this.  They're too polite.  It's just something we think about.  Unfortunately, I have no idea where we are on letters (besides BEHIND), telling everyone how grateful we are for the many lovely things our beautiful daughter has been given!  Just know that we've probably received it, definitely appreciated it, and certainly want to thank you properly for it.  We're just still in the sleep-deprived haze that new parents so often are in - trying to do the same thing multiple times, getting lost in the middle of sentences, etc... multi-tasking just doesn't work quite so well as it once did!   Case in point -- I've been trying to write this update letter since September 9th -- before Chiara was three months old!


Q:  Are there any other challenges on the horizon?
A:  A rather big one... but we'll talk about that in another letter.  It's a bit too big an announcement to leave as a final Q&A to the Chiara Update!


Two recent pix below, taken from the Smugmug site.  Regular updates are available!
m-and-k.smugmug.com

With Love, 

Kristiana, Michael and Chiara


Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone




Friday, August 08, 2008

Movie night and pediatrician visit

Last night we went to the movies: a showing of WALL*E at the drive-in in San Jose. One of the women in Kristiana's Tuesday afternoon group does this with her child, and said it's a great way to get out of the house, catch a film, and have private space in which to nurse and change the baby. So we thought we'd try it.

The experience was mixed. There was nothing wrong with the idea, but there were a couple of problems with the execution. The first, and easiest to overcome, was that we'd depended on the theater's snack bar for Kristiana's dinner, and they turned out to be very slow and poorly organized. (I'd assumed they would have a spiffier operation, just as our indoor theaters now have espresso bars and gelato and so on.) Next time we'll know to pack our own food. The other problem was the sound, and that'll be tougher to deal with. They transmit over FM, which you can pick up with your car radio or with a portable, and in theory the sound should be very clean. In practice, though, there was a persistent low buzzing in the sound, which drove me bonkers, and there were other audio problems as well. Luckily WALL*E is not terribly dependent on dialogue, but we both wonder whether we'll be able to enjoy a movie that is; perhaps we'll have to wait until subtitled foreign films come to the drive-in.

Today was Chiara's eight-week pediatrician visit: the results can be summarized as, "perfect." Besides that, she is now 10 lbs 10 oz, and 23 1/2 inches. She had a series of four immunization injections, to which her response - I am paraphrasing a bit - was, "ow!!!!!!" But she quickly recovered, and before many minutes had fallen asleep.

This weekend we have a road trip to Monterey - just for the day on Saturday - and on Sunday another outdoor jazz concert.

And lastly, the photo-update computer is back at last, and all the photos shot while it was away have now been uploaded to the photo-sharing site.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

This week's minor updates

Just a few notes, since we haven't posted anything recently and haven't put up new pictures. We've been radio-silent on the Chiara front for a whole week now, and that's unheard-of!

Chiara is doing great. She continues to grow - she was very nearly 2 lbs over her birth weight as of yesterday - and is on the verge of outgrowing the first of her baby clothes. That's sort of exciting; it really feels like some kind of milestone.

We have a whole slew of 3-month sized outfits ready for her, and she has in fact started wearing some of the less-loose ones already. She's a tall girl, our little 8-week-0ld (as of this coming Friday).

She's paying a lot of attention to us both - she will look into our eyes for as long as we want, and often will look where we look, if we look away. Smile at her and she smiles back. Seeing her face brighten as she catches you smiling at her, well, it's the best thing ever. She's experimenting with the sounds she can make, too. Besides the usual cooing and mewing she has a sort of "wa-hooo!" sound that is unbelievably cute and endearing. We're trying to capture a recording of it but haven't managed yet.

Among the classes we've taken at Day One recently are sign language for babies, and infant massage. It turns out that young children - much older than ours, usually 8 months or more - can be taught both to understand sign language and to sign back. It's a way for them to communicate their needs even before they've learned to speak. We're taking the classes now so we'll be that much more ready and fluent as she gets old enough to begin to understand. Baby Sign Language is just American Sign Language, but as taught to parents, i.e., focusing on the vocabulary relevant to dealing with a baby. Kristiana already has a grounding in ASL, but it's all new to me; my vocabulary doesn't yet go too much beyond "hungry," "milk," "more," "finished" and "sleep."

Infant massage, according to some studies in one of the books I've been reading (I've forgotten which), actually has some correlation with certain developmental milestones and physical skills. And that sounds great to us, but in all honesty there's an immediate benefit which is much more compelling to us right now. Chiara seems to have passed the age where she regularly spits up milk. Hurrah, you might say. But instead of spitting up when she has swallowed air or has a gas bubble, she now gets uncomfortable and cries. It's misery for her, and for us. We've found that some of the infant massage moves are effective for giving her relief when the usual burping back-pat and back-squeeze don't do the trick. New parents, learn infant massage: the day will come when you'll do anything for one more trick in your bag of things to try when your baby's crying.

Our photo-posting computer is still in the shop, but I'm pretty hopeful that it will be back by the end of the week. They're waiting for a part which was shown as in-transit on Monday, and after that the repair should be a matter of minutes. Once the computer's back, we'll have a fair chunk of new pictures posted on the photo-sharing site.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Photo updates interrupted

The computer we use to post the photo updates is at Apple for repairs, and may be there for a few days. So no photo updates for a little while. We're continuing to shoot, though, so there will be a big wad of them to post when uploads resume.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Chiara FAQ

This FAQ was originally published two weeks ago, when Chiara was four weeks old, but I'm posting it to the blog for posterity.  I've made a couple of [updates] with the latest information! 


Since we get a lot of the same questions from friends and family, we thought we'd prepare the Frequently Asked Questions About Chiara.

Q:  So how old is Chiara now?
A:  She was four weeks old on Friday, July 11th! [She's now six weeks old as of Friday, July 25th!]

Q:  How is she doing?
A:  She's doing great!  Her height (currently 22.5") is in the 93rd percentile of girls, and her weight (9lbs 3oz) is in the 50s.  She is starting to hold up her head when she's on her tummy, and she almost turned over on the doctor's exam table Friday (much to the surprise of the doctor, who said she was very strong -- and that normally she wouldn't be able to do that for weeks)!  [Her weight on Friday was 9lbs 13oz, so she should be over 10lbs by the time we go to her two-month well baby appointment in two weeks.]

Q:  How, exactly, is your daughter's name pronounced, exactly?
A:  Here, then, is the proper pronunciation of Chiara Alexeika:

Key-AH-rah Alex-SAYkah

Q:  How did you choose that name, anyway?
A:  Here's a brief synopsis.

First, many of our opinions about our daughter were formed during the pregnancy.  These impressions included "essentially good-natured" as my pregnancy was a *relatively* easy one;  "determined" and "stubborn" as she would not permit me to lie on either side since about 27 weeks (she would kick me repeatedly until I moved to my back);  "her own piper" since she was a week late;  you get the picture.

In addition, since "Robin" would be taking my last name, rather than Michael's, we wished to include a family-inspired name from Michael's side.

Since both Michael and I read a lot, we had a number of female character names that we had liked for some time.  As more personality traits arose, we started winnowing down the options.  Going into labor, we had six possible names.  By Friday evening after a full day with our daughter, we were both pretty sure who she was.

The name Chiara has roots both Italian and Celtic, though it was the Italian that actually inspired us.  When we were in Venice in September 2006, I ran out of books, but managed to find potentially the only bookseller in Venice who carried English-language novels!  Two books I chose because they were murder mysteries set in Venice, which we ended up loving because they were so fabulously written.  Chaira is the precocious daughter of the detective-inspector Brunetti (the hero of the series), and if you were to read some of these books, I think you'll guess why we chose the name.  In brief, she is thoughtful and studious, but also very strong-willed and opinionated.  

Alexeika, her middle name, is inspired by another character.  This one worked for us because there are already a number of Alex and Alexandra names in Michael's family, and we wanted her to be unique, while still paying tribute to her family.  Michael's grandmother Josie was one who had the opinion that children should have family names, and we wanted to be sure to honor that, albeit in our own fashion!  Also, I thought at the hospital that she might actually turn out to be a "Lexie," so we gave her a middle name that would allow for that!

Q:  So what are you calling her?
A:  She's introduced to people as Chiara.  What we're *actually* calling her these days doesn't tend to match what's on her birth certificate -- "beautiful girl," "squirmy girl," and "hiccoughy girl" are the most frequent names she's called.  She used to be "floppy girl" but she's a bit less floppy these days.  [Much less floppy, and we're making a concerted effort to use her name when we're talking to her, for reasons of Good Child Development.]

Q:  The all-important question -- how is she sleeping, and how are you sleeping?
A:  Mom and Dad are pretty tired, but we're coping.  Chiara sleeps a lot (she's a good sleeper).  We've been relatively fortunate -- she generally sleeps four or five hours at a stretch during the night, and sometimes a couple of hours at a time during the day.  But not right now.  Right now, she's determined to be amused by her daddy, who is trying his best to meet the challenge.  [We're up to five or six hours these days, so here's hoping that we'll be able to sleep through the night soon!]

Q:  You've probably been pretty inundated with visitors.  Who's been to see her?
A:  Her first visitors in the hospital were Michael's parents and his sister.  Since then, the Mazour grandparents have visited several times, Kristiana's mom has spent a couple of days here, and over the fourth of July weekend we had Kristiana's father and stepmother, Michael's sister, Cousin Alexandra, neighbors and work friends, etc.  Chiara has also been to visit Apple a couple of times.

Q:  I sent you something.  Did you get it?
A:  Yes we did!  Thank you thank you thank you so much for thinking of us!  We're so sorry that we have been so bad at sending out acknowledgements and thank-you notes.  We plead for forgiveness, as much of the time we have trouble getting out from under our daughter, but we're going to catch up, we promise.

Q:  So where can I find more pictures of Chiara?
A:  You will find almost-daily photo updates at m-and-k.smugmug.com.  Here's one of my my favorites, albeit one that's slightly blurry. [Updated with a much better, and less blurry shot]


Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone



Thursday, July 17, 2008

This week's minor developments

As Kristiana noted earlier, we formerly called our daughter "floppy girl" since she was so completely loose she could almost drip through any small crack between the arms holding her. But that's really changed in the last week or so. She now very intently holds up her head to see what's around her, and she's starting to try to crawl though she's not quite strong enough yet.

We have finally received all the documentation we needed to apply for Chiara's passport, and yesterday we shot the pictures and then ran over to the post office to put in the application. Shooting the pictures was a project in itself, since babies have to conform to the same photo guidelines as everyone else, which basically meant laying her down on a white surface and trying to snap a picture where she's a) facing forward instead of looking to one side or another, b) not flailing her arms or pumping a fist at the camera, c) wearing a suitably mild-mannered expression, and d) wearing head and body at reasonably non-twisty angles in relationship to each other. It's a real trial-and-error process, mostly error, so thank goodness for digital.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Chiara FAQ, by Kristiana

Posted to Kristiana's mailing list yesterday, and now reproduced here.

----

Since we get a lot of the same questions from friends and family, we thought we'd prepare the Frequently Asked Questions About Chiara.

Q: So how old is Chiara now?
A: She was four weeks old on Friday, July 11th!

Q: How is she doing?
A: She's doing great! Her height (currently 22.5") is in the 93rd percentile of girls, and her weight (9lbs 3oz) is in the 50s. She is starting to hold up her head when she's on her tummy, and she almost turned over on the doctor's exam table Friday (much to the surprise of the doctor, who said she was very strong -- and that normally she wouldn't be able to do that for weeks)!

Q: How, exactly, is your daughter's name pronounced, exactly?
A: Here, then, is the proper pronunciation of Chiara Alexeika:

Key-AH-rah Alex-SAYkah

Q: How did you choose that name, anyway?
A: Here's a brief synopsis.

First, many of our opinions about our daughter were formed during the pregnancy. These impressions included "essentially good-natured" as my pregnancy was a *relatively* easy one; "determined" and "stubborn" as she would not permit me to lie on either side since about 27 weeks (she would kick me repeatedly until I moved to my back); "her own piper" since she was a week late; you get the picture.

In addition, since "Robin" would be taking my last name, rather than Michael's, we wished to include a family-inspired name from Michael's side.

Since both Michael and I read a lot, we had a number of female character names that we had liked for some time. As more personality traits arose, we started winnowing down the options. Going into labor, we had six possible names. By Friday evening after a full day with our daughter, we were both pretty sure who she was.

The name Chiara has roots both Italian and Celtic, though it was the Italian that actually inspired us. When we were in Venice in September 2006, I ran out of books, but managed to find potentially the only bookseller in Venice who carried English-language novels! Two books I chose because they were murder mysteries set in Venice, which we ended up loving because they were so fabulously written. Chaira is the precocious daughter of the detective-inspector Brunetti (the hero of the series), and if you were to read some of these books, I think you'll guess why we chose the name. In brief, she is thoughtful and studious, but also very strong-willed and opinionated.

Alexeika, her middle name, is inspired by another character. This one worked for us because there are already a number of Alex and Alexandra names in Michael's family, and we wanted her to be unique, while still paying tribute to her family. Michael's grandmother Josie was one who had the opinion that children should have family names, and we wanted to be sure to honor that, albeit in our own fashion! Also, I thought at the hospital that she might actually turn out to be a "Lexie," so we gave her a middle name that would allow for that!

Q: So what are you calling her?
A: She's introduced to people as Chiara. What we're *actually* calling her these days doesn't tend to match what's on her birth certificate -- "beautiful girl," "squirmy girl," and "hiccoughy girl" are the most frequent names she's called. She used to be "floppy girl" but she's a bit less floppy these days.

Q: The all-important question -- how is she sleeping, and how are you sleeping?
A: Mom and Dad are pretty tired, but we're coping. Chiara sleeps a lot (she's a good sleeper). We've been relatively fortunate -- she generally sleeps four or five hours at a stretch during the night, and sometimes a couple of hours at a time during the day. But not right now. Right now, she's determined to be amused by her daddy, who is trying his best to meet the challenge.

Q: You've probably been pretty inundated with visitors. Who's been to see her?
A: Her first visitors in the hospital were Michael's parents and his sister. Since then, the Mazour grandparents have visited several times, Kristiana's mom has spent a couple of days here, and over the fourth of July weekend we had Kristiana's father and stepmother, Michael's sister, Cousin Alexandra, neighbors and work friends, etc. Chiara has also been to visit Apple a couple of times.

Q: I sent you something. Did you get it?
A: Yes we did! Thank you thank you thank you so much for thinking of us! We're so sorry that we have been so bad at sending out acknowledgements and thank-you notes. We plead for forgiveness, as much of the time we have trouble getting out from under our daughter, but we're going to catch up, we promise.

Q: So where can I find more pictures of Chiara?
A: You will find almost-daily photo updates at m-and-k.smugmug.com. Here's one of my my favorites, albeit one that's slightly blurry.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Friday gadget blogging: how we shoot (and publish) all those baby pictures

(written on Friday but published Saturday because Chiara needed attention before I could press Post)

We've gotten some positive comments on our Chiara photos, and while all the credit for their appeal goes, of course, to our extremely adorable subject, we made some lucky technological choices that have really helped us get (and post) the pictures we're getting.

Eye-Fi wireless camera card
Highly recommended for new parents. You might never see any of our pictures if we didn't have the Eye-Fi card. This is a camera memory card that, for the most part, functions like any other memory card you might put in your camera. But when it's in range of your wireless Internet connection, it will automatically connect, and upload your pictures, both to your home computer and to your selection of online photo-sharing services. It's completely hands-off: within a few minutes after we shoot a picture, it's uploaded, with no extra steps on our part. I can't emphasize enough how much this kind of time-saving helps when you're a new parent. If we had to take the camera down to the computer, connect the cable, run the photo-transfer program, and then upload the pictures, all by hand, I'm sure we wouldn't get around to it very often.

If you're thinking, "gee, sounds great, but I'm not sure I want every picture I take to appear on the Web, instantly and uncensored," there are ways around that. Most photo-sharing sites can be set up so they don't automatically publish your pictures the instant they receive them, but instead wait for your go-ahead. This is how we have SmugMug set up: the day's gallery fills up as we take pictures, but it doesn't get published for public viewing until one of us has gone to the site, reviewed the pictures, and published the gallery (something that takes almost no time when one of us is near a computer, so it's easy to do daily).

Nikon SB-400 bounce flash
This is the key to the nice color quality and even illumination of our Chiara pictures. You just can't take indoor pictures of a child, with the quality we want, without some kind of additional light: they will be visibly dark and unevenly lit, and often they will be completely ruined by motion blur -yours or your child's. You need flash. Every camera has a little built-in flash, but since these fire straight at the subject, they give the scene a very unnatural quality: the subject in the center of the frame is blasted with illumination, while everything around and behind is dark and wrong-looking. What you need is a flash that lights up the whole room, not just the subject, and this is what bounce flash does: it fires up, or sideways, bouncing light off the ceiling and walls so that the scene looks natural.

The SB-400 is the small, very lightweight, relatively inexpensive, bounce flash that mates with our current digital SLR, the Nikon D40. The SB-400 is half the size and half the price of anything comparable that Canon makes, and it works brilliantly well. The SB-400 is so good that, to me, it is a strong argument for getting the Nikon system over the Canon, even though I'm a two-decade Canon EOS user, and very fond of the Canons.

Digital SLR and long zoom lens
As I said above, we're shooting with a Nikon D40 SLR. It has no more megapixels than your typical subcompact camera these days. It may very well have fewer. But each pixel on its sensor is bigger than the ones in smaller cameras, and that makes a big difference. The smaller the pixel on the sensor, the less light it captures, and the more its signal has to be amplified by the camera's electronics - which amplifies noise as well. In other words, the smaller the sensor, the lower its signal to noise ratio. This shows up in photos as unevenness of color - a sort of grainy or even sparkly effect - in areas of the picture that should be smoothly colored. The pictures of Chiara that we've shot with our compact cameras - like a Canon S3 IS that has 6MP just like the D40 - don't look nearly as good, because the skin is just not as smooth and realistic as with the bigger camera. For good baby close-ups, you want the bigger camera.

And we're shooting with a relatively long zoom lens. This lets us fill the frame with Chiara's head - or even her hand - from a few feet away instead of having to crowd right in on her. Besides being a general convenience, that's helpful because it keeps the child from being startled by the sound of the camera firing at close quarters. The lens we use is the Nikon 18-200mm VR lens; in 35mm terms this is roughly equivalent to a 28-300mm zoom. The VR means Vibration Reduction, and is Nikon's term for what Canon calls IS or Image Stabilizing: tiny sensors measure, and try to correct for, camera movement during the moments that your shutter is open. The outcome is less blurry pictures. This stuff really works, and we are crazy about it. Get VR or IS lenses whenever possible; we do.

That's it for the baby-photo-technology post. Use bounce flash, use an SLR and a long lens (with VR/IS if possible), and make uploading from the camera to your computer/website as automatic and painless as you can. And have a great subject - fortunately every baby is one.

Friday, July 11, 2008

One-month pediatrician visit

Today we had our one-month pediatrician visit. Strictly speaking (and we asked about this during the visit), a one-month visit would really take place one calendar month after the birth and not just four weeks after the birth as was the case today, but close enough: Chiara's had her one-month checkup.

Everything looks great. She's healthy in every way and developing normally or better. She's grown an inch and a quarter since birth, making her 22.5" now. That's fairly tall: 93rd percentile or so for her age. It's really noticeable in that not all onesies fit her any more: some clearly compress her shoulders when pulled down enough to button at the bottom. Kristiana made a shopping trip yesterday to pick up a batch of long onesies.

Mother and father are doing OK too, though we both could use more sleep.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Chiara Alexeika Kincaid

It's been a month since we posted last, and in the interim we've had a daughter. Chiara Alexeika Kincaid was born June 13th, 2008 (yes, that's Friday the 13th), happy and healthy. Everybody asks weight and length and they were 8 lbs 6 oz and 21.25 inches. That puts her somewhere above the 90th percentile of height, and about median in height-to-weight.

There's a link to lots of photos over on the right.

One of the other things people ask, once they see the pictures, is "does she have red hair?" It's too soon really to know. She has light-colored hair and eyebrows with a little bit of brown that can be slightly coppery in the right light. But I was born blond (and am definitely not so now), and Kristiana was too (and still is), so my best guess is that Chiara will start out with light-colored hair but probably not actually red.

The other question people ask - about her, before they get to the questions for us, like are we getting any sleep - is where her name came from. Well, Kristiana and I each kept our names when we married, and we decided Chiara would be a Kincaid. And Chiara (pronounced with a hard C, like key-ara) is an Italian name (not that either of us is Italian), one we thought was pretty. It met the criteria of being a little unusual without being a completely strange and unheard-of. In fact our local newborn resource center knows of another local Chiara being born just a few weeks behind ours. I hope it's not the start of a trend, because I rather hoped the name would remain a little uncommon. As for Alexeika, there is always an Alex somewhere in my family tree, so this was a way to give a nod to my family as well as Kristiana's, though again with an unusual name.

Chiara will be four weeks old this Friday. We've spent all our waking hours, and many of our sleeping ones, with her, so it feels like much longer. She's as perfect a baby as you could wish for - healthy in every respect, only crying when needful (well, more or less), sleeping pretty well at night (four or five hours at a time until she's hungry again), and nicely alert when she's not sleeping.

As for the other two of us, we're doing fairly well. We're not getting as much sleep as we'd like, but enough to get by, and we have enough of a routine now that getting ordinary "life" stuff done doesn't require superhuman effort any more. Hence this long-delayed blog post. Much more about Chiara - and maybe the occasional other subject - will follow.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

There WILL be a baby by the weekend

As you know, we're officially overdue.  

From our OB visit on Monday, it's been determined that the baby is still doing fine, but things don't seem to be moving along as the doctors would like.  It seems that after 40 weeks, the tendency is for the placenta to start to calcify.  Also, less water around the baby can be problematic.  In our situation, both are happening.  As a result, if Robin doesn't make her appearance on her own this week, we are scheduled to enter the hospital Thursday night to start the process, and be induced on Friday morning.

So.  There will be a baby by the weekend. 

We're actually rather amused that our baby might be born on Friday the 13th.  It almost seems a moral imperative to to go find some Goth babywear, although I think that most of the options at babygoth.com may be more than is strictly necessary to match our level of amusement -- but I will say that their Roswell and Bunny Bones t-shirts are pretty funny (and I think we'll skip the Living Dead Dolls altogether).

I am happy to say, however, that our nursery is finally complete.  Here you will *finally* see the new rocking chair, whose textiles just arrived today; the bassinet and changing table you have seen before, all organized and ready for baby changing;  and the lovely new curtains for the closet, courtesy of mom-in-law/Grandma-to-be Rosemary, and her friend Gina.  I think that the effect is cozy, but organized -- at least it is at the moment!




 


 


I guess we're ready....

Really ready....

Did I mention we were ready?


Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone


Thursday, June 05, 2008

Our Due Date Has Arrived. The Baby Hasn't.

As many of you have been asking, where's the baby already?

We wish we knew, and hope she decides to make her appearance soon.

We had an OB appointment yesterday and it looks like things are moving along properly.  Unfortunately, they are also moving along slowly.  The OB performed a procedure meant to help the process along, but whether or not it works will require another 48 hours to determine.  

No other real news on the homefront -- I've been instructed to walk as much as possible (ow), I slept most of today, and otherwise, generally, I'm doing okay.  Michael is running errands, had the house cleaned, and is doing small projects around the house while we still have the wherewithal to complete small projects.  

The only other planning-related news we've got to share is about the carseat situation.... I don't think I relayed yet just how much of a learning process it turned out to be.  

To start with, we finally got our appointment with the firefighter who went through either a 40- or 80-hour training course for dealing with carseats.  Seriously.  Scott, with Mountain View Fire Station 4, was impressively knowledgeable about what we could or could not do to implement the carseat bases in the backs of our Volvos.  Michael ended up with sore knees from repeatedly repositioning the base in my car, which despite having the Latch system did not have it available in the center rear seat, where baby is safest.  That meant that instead of being able to use the nice little latch thingys to pin down the base, instead we had to use the tie-fighter-shaped attachment with the seatbelt.  And then we determined that the angle was still too steep for safety, and so the whole thing had to be taken apart and repositioned repeatedly.... well, you get the idea.  We had no clue it would be that challenging to install a carseat. In a 2005 Volvo.

Ironically, Michael's Volvo, which predates the Latch system, came with these neat switches right on the seatbelt attachment itself -- when the switch was moved to a certain position, it would snug up and not let go, which meant that his seat base was ready in about 5 minutes.  Mine took more like an hour.  But at the bottom line -- we have both cars with seat bases solidly in place and ready to provide safe transport for our little one.  

Our birth plan is complete; our bags are packed.  We'll let you know when we have something more interesting to share.

Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

It's beginning to look a bit like a nursery


Thanks ever-so-much to coworker Josh Adlin, who came to help us assemble the bassinet on Sunday (FYI - that's Threepwood in the bassinet, not Josh).  With Josh, we don't have to worry about compensation -- we just feed him and he's happy.  


Threep, on the other hand, helps out for bear hugs.  So far we've used him to demonstrate or figure out the car seat, the bassinet, the changing table, and the somewhat confusing (but very comfortable) Baby Bjorn infant carrier.  Threep is very helpful because he's just about the size of a newborn, but fortunately without the weight of one.


We're technically in the home stretch now -- Robin's now considered "full term" and could decide to show up any day.  I alternate between hoping she shows up soon and hoping that we have time to finish a few more things around the house before she does.  My energy is virtually nonexistent these days, so finding the wherewithal to actually *do* the work around the house is challenging.  You can see my problem.

 

When he's not assembling nursery furniture, Michael is keeping busy with the long-awaited Cave Project.  He's pulled an amazing number of cables and old equipment out of that room, and now there's just some bookcase rearranging that needs to be completed.  His plan is to have enough room for baby to sleep/bounce around in the same room while he works.  Being self-employed seems to agree with him!

So we're waiting for the rocking chair (the one they shipped us turned out to have the wrong textiles) to arrive, and I've got curtains to iron/hem (Ikea) whenever I can manage to parse the instructions.  We're also waiting to hear back from the nice firefighter at Station 4 who will tell us if we've managed to install our infant car seats correctly.  I'm not really optimistic that I have, but I've been wrong before.

Over the next week or so, I'm working through some final training/updates with my team, attending weekly doctor appointments, and going to baby-prep classes.  Effective yesterday, I'm officially on maternity leave!  Now when I have to collapse in the middle of the afternoon, I don't feel guilty about it...

And that's all the news from Lake Woebegone, at least for the moment.

Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone


Saturday, April 26, 2008

Robin News: Who would have thought diapers would be so complicated?


Today we have come home with a ton of washing to do.  Yes, that entire bag is filled with diapers, and diaper paraphenalia.

Who would have thought that diapering.... or rather diapering _systems_ would be so complicated?

We just spent an hour and a half considering cloth diapering options with Sara, our local distributer of Fuzzi Bunz (www.fuzzibunz.com) and other cloth diaper alternatives.  Even after spending considerable time on Sara's website and others devoted to The Cloth Diaper, it was still rather overwhelming to find out just how many options are out there. You can have standard cloth diapers with plastic pant covers on the cheap end, "all in one" diapers on the high end (read you don't have to stuff them with extra padding), and "pocket" diapers that are only good for one changing, but have the benefit of being stuffable so that you can ostensibly go for longer periods without changing the diaper.  Unless, of course, the baby poops (and as I'm sure you've heard, Everyone Poops), in which case all bets are off, and so is the diaper.

After much consideration, we finally settled on a mix of options -- velcro-closing small pocket diapers both for early days and I'm-too-tired-to-find-snaps changes, and Fuzzi Bunz pocket diapers for when parents are slightly more awake to deal with snaps, baby gets old enough that she figures out how to disconnect the velcro, and/or baby wants to be colorful.  Trust me, these are very vivid diapers -- and -- hurray -- not a pink or orange one in the bunch!

We also went with a handful of highly absorbent hemp liners, which when used in conjunction with the microfiber liners can help to prevent 2am changings in addition to the feeding you're probably doing.  Prior to using these or the burping cloths we bought, however, we apparently have to wash them about 6 times to get all of the oils out.  So... we've got a lot of washing to do.  Good thing we're starting now. 

In other news:


We finally cleared out the spare bedroom last weekend, gifting the box spring and frame to some new neighbors and the mattress to Santa Clara County Recycling.  Now it's just a matter of shuffling furniture, hanging blackout curtains and drapes, and organizing baby stuff.  Or so we hope.


We now have a membership at Day One Center (www.dayonecenter.com), which is essentially a one-stop shop for all baby and parenting needs.  One of the trainers at Axis (our gym) does post-natal mom-and-baby classes, and as a new mom herself, she highly recommended it.  We have our first class a week from today to find out just how nervous we should be about childbirth.  Goody.


The bassinet/crib contraption is due to arrive sometime this week, so I guess we've got some assembly to do in addition to laundry!


That's the news that's mostly fit to print these days.  Hope all is well.  Robin kicks and squirms hello.  


Repeatedly.



Kristiana & Michael



Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone


Saturday, March 29, 2008

Kristiana's father is in town

Quick visit, just for the day. Lunch at Cascal, dinner at Zibbibo, and a nap in between. I'm still sick, so I needed that nap.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Our first baby tool has arrived

Despite the fact that Michael was a bit under the weather, and Robin protested that I was sitting on the floor, we managed to assemble our first-to-arrive key baby tool -- the Stokke Xplory.


You see it here assembled with the "newborn" setup -- that's a pretty sizeable carry cot meant for babies 0-6months.  Then we switch to Phase 2, which has a different seat and makes the Xplory look a lot more like a traditional stroller -- except that baby can be facing us OR facing away, AND be at waist height, rather than low like a traditional stroller.  No bending awkwardly to lift is always a good thing, IMHO.

So far, the main drawback to the Xplory are mainly that the machinations of those Clever Norwegians will take awhile to understand.  Perhaps because we've been sick... but we will have a learning curve here.  Of course, I believe that this is true, to a certain extent, with most strollers.

In the plus department, once things ARE assembled and you've figured out how to attach, move, adjust, etc., it's ridiculously easy to do so.  The stroller moves extremely smoothly.  And the textiles are WONDERFUL against your skin -- incredibly soft.  They also include the cute baby blanket, color-coordinated to your textiles....

We're looking forward to having a small person to put in the stroller.


 

 Love, 

Kristiana & Michael




Kristiana Kincaid
415.990.5123
Sent from my iPhone


Sunday, March 23, 2008

Destination coffee

And more significantly, destination espresso.

Intelligentsia Coffee has been on my radar for a long time, but I've never managed a visit until now. Several years ago Kristiana and I were in Napa overnight, and my morning wanderings took me to a bakery that also stocked a few gourmet items, among them bags of Intelligentsia Black Cat espresso blend. You didn't have to be a coffee expert - I certainly wasn't - to know that these beans were magic. One squeeze of the bag and one stiff told you. The bakery couldn't pull a decent shot, and I wasn't able to brew anything exceptional from them at home (I didn't have any espresso equipment then), but there was no question that Black Cat was the work of people who truly, truly loved espresso.
Unfortunately Intelligentsia is located in Chicago, a city with lots to offer but which I never seem to find occasion to visit. For a few weeks last year it looked as if 2008's headphone audiophilia conference would be in Chicago, and that would have made a good focal point for a visit, but ultimately it was moved to Florida - the right decision for the meet (the Florida gang have the bench strength to pull it off brilliantly while the Chicago cabal's leadership was, uh, less clearly demonstrated), but making it less interesting to me.

So I didn't know when I would make it to Intelligentsia. Then, Intelligentsia came to California. Just one, in LA.

The recently-opened shop is on Sunset, in the hipster-heavy stretch known as Silverlake. It's where to shop for 50's retropolitan furnishings and decor. And it's where my friend Maggie lives. In fact, Intelligentsia is right next door to the cheese shop we've walked to together on more than one previous visit.

Maggie is a best friend from business school, and I'm down here this weekend because a small dinner she was having with another b-school best friend grew by another b-school best friend, and then another, so that I could not stay away, not with Robin on the way and future opportunities for travel looking pretty distant. So I flew in on Saturday and will fly home tonight. In between, we're sandwiching some database design for Maggie's business, some IT support for Maggie's computers at home, cooking dinner, the party itself, some IT support for two of Jon's computers, meeting up with a friend from online over in Santa Monica, a visit to the new wing of LACMA, a couple of superb lunches, and of course visits to Intelligentsia. Good espresso is certainly a suitable power source for a weekend like this.

At my routine haunt Caffe del Doge in Palo Alto, each espresso comes with a brown sugar cube. At Barefoot, my weekend destination in Santa Clara, a tiny almond cookie. A favorite Italian deli off Piccadilly Circus serves espresso with a twist of lemon peel - this is a favorite for me - and Flying Goat in Healdsburg tucks a little cube of chocolate onto the saucer. Intelligentsia gives you a shotglass of sparkling water, pulled from a soda-fountain style tap on the counter. I wasn't expecting this, but it's a nice chaser after a shot.

As for the shot itself, Intelligentsia's is now my personal reference: the best I've ever had. It is small, thick, and heavily laden with true crema (not just foam) just like the ones from Barefoot - but I honestly like Intelligentsia's blend better than any of Barefoot's.

Sorry, I'm going on in too much detail. To sum up, wow. It was just fantastic stuff. I'd tried to limit my expectations on the way over, sure that a big mental buildup would lead to disappointment. There was no need.

Post-espresso we returned to the house and got started with party prep. Friends began arriving at five or six, and the socializing (http://www.flickr.com/photos/11709446@N00/sets/72157604212147028/) continued until just about midnight.

I'm a morning person and almost always wake up pretty early no matter what time I get to bed. So before Maggie was even up, I was on my way back to Intelligentsia for my morning shot. Two shots, actually, which will surely cost me some sleep tonight, but I don't know when I'll be in LA again.